I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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