I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
