This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
