Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
