I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
