Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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