so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
