people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
