They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
