dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize