i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
