We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Mom said you looked used
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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