i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
