honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
