do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
