If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i was born a porn star she said
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
