i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
