Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
