he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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