Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
