weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ketchup is God's man juice
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
