Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
