You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
