Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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