I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
