We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
