she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
