It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
foreskin is a definite game changer
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
