Will you blow on my dice?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
