Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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