I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
