sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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