Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
