I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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