Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
