is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
