i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
