remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
