i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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