You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
