Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
