Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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