I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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