I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
