I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
