would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
