I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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