..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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