Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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