Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
