Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
