nut hugger
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
