when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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