She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
