FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
