Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
