Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
