dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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