Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
