Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
