don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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