if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
