OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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