pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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