why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
